What is it that you’re telling yourself at the heart of your soul? Deep within at the center of your being? What is it you’re allowing yourself to believe about yourself and how you shape your perspective on your life?
I’ve discovered that no matter the extent of my anxiety or the depth of my depression that what I’ve allowed into that sacred space at the core of who I am is the cause of it. I cannot possibly deny that there are physical reasons for depression and anxiety, such as eating a poor diet, stress, or hormone imbalances because I’ve experienced the healing benefits of a nutrient-dense diet. And I know that when my irritability starts shooting through the roof or a weight of hopelessness hangs over me that I need to lay off the sweets and remember to include more veggies (funny how one replaces the other!).
But a person can still eat cookies and not be depressed. The root cause is what you believe about yourself. As Brene Brown says, it comes down to whether you believe your are worthy of love and acceptance, or not. That kind of decision happens right at the heart. And the consequences of your decision spread to every aspect of your life, intertwining and connecting everything you do and think about in your life.
When I’m anxious, and I am able to take a closer look at what’s going on under the surface, there’s a whole lot of fear going on. Like I need to stay on guard for the worst thing to happen, be prepared. And underneath that is a deep layer of belief that I need to do this because good things are taken from me since I’m not worthy to have them in the first place.
When I’m depressed, and I just stepped out from under a very dark cloud of it, it is coming from a place of great shame. That I’ve horribly screwed up and am essentially a very bad person. I believed the shameful lies and that I am indeed worse than the average person. Somehow impossibly defective.
The most brave thing I’ve ever done is stepping out in faith and believing my Creator when He tells me (again and again) that I’m worthy. Worthy for Him to die on a cross to take my place. Worthy of His enormous, amazing, beautiful love that no words can ever describe. And that His grace and promises do really cover me in my failings and screw-ups and defective faults.
That He created me and am in a small way a reflection of Him. Anything good and lovely in me stems from the Hand that made it.
Dressing Your Truth helped me to see this. It is not just about what clothes to wear or how to cut your hair. It’s about accenting your true nature. Carol Tuttle has an incredible insight into how us humans have been created and her program has helped me in a powerful way. I won’t go into it too much here, but she says that there are 4 different types of energies in people, and that we each lead with a dominant type of energy. We are each a mix of all the types, but in all her experience, she firmly believes that each of us lead with one and it is instilled in us even before birth (ask any mom who has has more than one pregnancy about the movement of her babies!).
I grew up believing that I’m too sensitive and too shy. I was always on the outskirts, often looked over and this carried on into my adult life. When I finally had to admit that I was the soft, subtle woman (Type 2) I was so down on myself; I felt like that was a very bad way to be. But I’ve come to accept it and through Carol’s teachings, am starting to appreciate it. And let me tell you, when I wear the colours recommended for Type 2, it really does feel like freedom! Amazing how our clothes have an energy all their own. Carol Tuttle teaches you to accent and flatter your natural beauty, based on your dominant type, that is already there, and ultimately accepting and loving yourself for what you truly are.
This led me to be more open to God’s love for me, to understand myself better, and that He made me just this way.
It has allowed me, at the core of my being, to choose and believe that I’m worthy. Just as I am.